Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Disorganized Updates

Life just rushes by. It scares me that the older I get, the faster my life seems to pass by and I always wonder if I could be doing more or making more of myself. I've always been a goal setter and someone that has to have something to work towards. I just don't know if I am keeping a good balance of enjoying my life while going after my goals. There has got to be a point where I relax and realize the beauty and love that surrounds me and just be okay being me.

As busy as I am, I love my life. I feel peace with where I am at and with all the lessons I have experienced so far. I feel confident with the man I have fallen in love with and I am hopeful at what our future will look like. The only thing holding us back is finances and that wouldn't really be an issue but we bought a house ha ha. A lot of things to pay for right now, but we are only at the beginning and it only goes up from here. I have to remind myself to let go of that a little bit and not be in such a rush to pay things off. We have everything that we hoped for and more, so it's time to enjoy just being together. Eventually, it won't just be me and him ;) ha ha.

I have many reasons to be stressed/hurt/angry, but I have a million more to be happy/grateful. I found my old websites from when I was 13/14 last week and it blew my mind. As far as I've always remembered, I was an unhappy and depressed person at that age. I always thought that I was going through so much when I looked back. You know what I found though? I was happy/confidence/outgoing at those ages. I truly did have joy in my life and I was glad for that reminder. So often, it's easy to remember the bad times in your life but you can't have bad without good. It just doesn't balance out that way.

Mickey is getting so big. It's been really fun to get reminders of all the little stages Laila went through. He has been VERY lazy lately and pretty much sleeps whenever he's with me. Not sure if it's because his Dad spoils him in the afternoons and plays with him or not yet lol. Either way, I love this little puppy and his sweet/goofy personality. I am happy that Kyle and I made the decision to get Laila a friend. It's still a love/hate relationship right now but the puppy is learning not to be such an ass with her ha ha.

Being a goof <3

Both my babies.

Today, almost 3 months old.

Looking forward to a California trip in just 3 short months. I can't wait to take Kyle on his first REAL vacation and to show him disneyland, universal, sea world, six flags, and the ocean all for the first time. I can't wait to just have alone time with him without all the stress of work and chores that we have right now.

Anyway, there's my disorganized thoughts for the week. ;)