Saturday, October 25, 2014

Happy Updates

I really need to get better about blogging. I don't feel like I can write very well anymore and I think it is because I became a scientist. In middle school and high school I learned to write with fluff, to extend my sentences, to make them into poetry. Then, I got to college and every time I didn't get straight to the point I got docked on essays and lab write ups. So, I learned how to write very directly. Like this. I do want to have more practice though and I really do want to have at least some memories written down because I enjoy going back and seeing them. I also have had to learn to write when I am not depressed which also doesn't ever feel very poetic but it's not about being poetic. It's not about making a statement and being different (ego mindset). It's about being me and being real.. even if that means that life is going great.

I think that most people would know that my life is in full baby mode right now. I know that may seem annoying for some (especially with fertility struggles.. and I've been there) but it is hard to not have this baby be our priority already. This baby has yet to make her arrival and already the capacity of love I have for her is unreal. To me, I am already a mother. I already worry about her, constantly. I finally get why my parents were so crazy because it's a worry that will never go away as long as I am alive. 

This last week, baby girl was abnormally quiet. I would feel little jabs here and there, but compared to how I have felt her… she was very very quiet. The first few days I didn't worry because she has her active and lazy days.. but by day 5 I was losing it. I was so down and depressed and even though logically I knew that things were okay (I was still getting some movement), I was starting to lose it. Thursday morning I woke up and had pretty much decided I was going to go to the doctors that day and at least get a heartbeat and make sure she wasn't in distress. As soon as I sat down to eat breakfast, I got like 15 kicks in a row and realized that she was fine. Little stinker, waiting until the last minute. Since then she has been CRAZY active. I am pretty sure she was going through a growth spurt or something because it has been non stop and the kicks have been so strong since then. We actually caught one on video last night. :) and she was able to give her dad a good kick to his beak lol. The only downside to her activity is it makes me lazy because all I want to do is lay around and watch and feel her move.

My goal this weekend is to finish putting her nursery furniture together. We still need to restain the glider and bookshelf but after that I will just need to get accessories as we get closer. I feel like I need to find a to do list of all the things you are supposed to do before baby gets here. I know we have 4 months but I also know how quickly that is going to go by with the holidays. Speaking of holidays.. I couldn't be more excited for them. Kyle finally scheduled some days off of work around Christmas so I will get 5 solid days in a row with him. He works his ass off and is constantly doing overtime so I can't wait to have our little family all together. I may have to go into work on one of those days for a while, but for the most part it will be amazing. My family has a lot of fun, dorky stuff planned too (tubing, christmas show, wii competitions, etc). Plus, I know that this baby is going to be even BIGGER by then. :) I love watching my belly grow and knowing that she is getting stronger and stronger.

I am honestly just feeling incredibly blessed all the time right now. I have an amazing husband, family, a roof over my head, and I love my new job (same company but i just transferred departments again). Life is so good and I couldn't ask for more. 

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