Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Honesty in Relationships

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”~Pietro Aretino

There is nothing more important to me then honesty in a relationship. Maybe I am biased because I've had my fair share of betrayals and deception and I know how damaging that is to the way you view a person and the way you view yourself. To be honest, I don't care how shitty a person is if they can at least be upfront about it. You can be the biggest player, sleep around, do whatever you want but just be upfront about it and if you can't be then maybe you shouldn't be doing what you are in the first place. I have absolutely no respect for people that constantly lie to those around them. I don't get how people like that get to sleep at night or look at themselves in the mirror after they know they have been fooling people that they love all day long.

I used to blame myself for being lied to. I used to think that maybe I was too trusting and naive or that maybe I just wasn't good enough to deserve a truthful relationship. After months of being in a 100% honest relationship I can finally confidently say that those previous notions are complete bullshit. I absolutely deserve to have honesty in my life not only out of my relationship but also from my friends and family. I am finding it more and more difficult to just accept people who are fake. Chances are I will not call you out on it because I honestly don't feel most people are worth it, but you will absolutely lose my respect if I catch you being anything but upfront. I'll probably smile at you and be civil, but deep down I know better and I'll be sure never to put my trust into your hands.

I am so grateful that I didn't walk into another one of "those" relationships. I've had so many games played on me, been cheated on, been lied to, and pretty much every way that someone could betray my trust and so I think that it is rare I found someone who doesn't do any of that. Almost 10 months and I don't have a single event in my mind that has given me any reason to doubt the person I am with. That is AMAZING! Has my current relationship been 100% perfect? I wouldn't say that at all. We had to work through quite a bit to get to where we are now mostly due to my past but I am finally in such a good place in my life. This relationship, however, is the most real relationship I've ever been able to experience and it's by far the best. I think that is astounding that now only do I get the truth, but that the truth itself is so much more then I could have imagined.

I think what it comes down to is that everyone has a slightly different moral code. I think that it's okay to be with someone who has different beliefs, interests, opinions, and preferences then you. However, your basic moral code has to be the same. If it's not, it will never work out. I can't believe how long it took me to finally get that, but it's a lesson I will never ever forget and I would gladly walk away if I ever felt that was the case.

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