I think there is something that I have realized lately and it has to do with what makes me happy in life and what will ultimately get me to where I want to be. It's the fact that what you do with your everynday time is extremely important. I can't stand being unproductive and I don't think I could ever live a life where I don't accomplish anything. Even if I was extremely rich (which I doubt lol), I would still have to be working towards something. Otherwise, what's the point? If you aren't going to leave behind anything in life then why are you here?
Too often, people I know base their personal happiness around those that are in their lives. Now, don't get me wrong. I think it is extremely important to have family, friends, and loved ones to be by your side in life. I don't take any of that for granted. But, it can't and shouldn't define you. If it does, every time there is drama or someone hurts you it will feel like your whole world is crashing down. You've got to have a separate aspect of your life that defines your own personal happiness or you will get lost in everyone else's lives. Let's face it, everyone has their own agenda and goals in life and if you don't have that for yourself you will constantly feel let down by others that you aren't priority #1.
Maybe I can blame this on the fact that I am an introvert and that I truly enjoy my alone time. I enjoy taking time to accomplish goals on my own. However, I still think it is something that so many people can learn from. I get tired of hearing people bitch about how they would be so much happier if they just had someone in their lives. It's not true. You have to be happy with you first before another person can ever truly complete your life.
So, with that in mind, I want to continue with my obsessive behavior and set some goals that will make me happy. Lately, I have been stuck in a loop of procrastination and time wasting and I refuse to stay in it. Part of it has been because I have been really sick lately, but it's going to swallow my life if I don't pull out of it.
So, here we go:
1) I need to write more often. I may have to start writing just on my computer because to be honest, I don't feel comfortable writing everything online. There is a whole different side to me that I'm not sure I want to share with just everyone. But, the point is, I need to write. Maybe I'll start creative writing or maybe I'll just make a log of incessant bitching every day. Either way, I just need to write. It makes me happy and it gives me a purpose.
2) I need to organize my homework better. Not just write down what I need to do, look at the list, and then groan and turn away from it. Lol. I need to actually set goals that absolutely need to be accomplished daily so that I don't get overwhelmed. I've got two semesters left and I refuse to let my whining stop me from getting this degree.
3) I need to organize my personal space better. I have been so overwhelmed with life lately and it's made me fall behind on keeping my room the peaceful place that I absolutely need amongst the chaos of my life. This needs to be fixed. If I don't have a calm setting to go to, none of my other goals are going to get accomplished.
4) I need to figure myself out. This is going to take a lot and take some time, but I need to start seriously considering exactly what I want out of my life when I complete school. I need to start looking at what type of job I want with my degree, if I want to go to law school, where I want to live, etc. I've been avoiding it, but I need to start taking small steps to figure this stuff out. I need to have something to look forward to and realize that the place I am at now is definitely not going to last much longer.
5) I need to continue to take care of my body and my health. I have been doing a lot better at this, but I need to keep it up and not slack off on certain days. I need to drink more water and continue to work out as much as I can because it will only make me feel better in the long run.
So, we'll start with that. I know it sounds like a lot (and it is), but I need some type of motivation to get me out of my rut and nothing does that better than overwhelming myself with a ton of goals. I might not accomplish them all at once, but at least it's something to focus towards.
With that in mind, I have to get back to another long list of mine. My homework.
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