The Norman Family: Kyle, Jordan, Charli and Riley: Weekend Reset

I'm sure that you can tell from my posts that life has been a bit of a struggle lately. I'm not sure why my asshole brain insists on making things difficult and depressing. I don't know why it also insists on making me feel isolated and alone. Logically, I know that I am in a great place in life. I have an amazing family who is healthy and children who are provided for and happy. They are so smart and are learning so much all the time. I have a husband who is an absolute rock 99% of the time and his 1% moments are few and far between. I'm actually amazed with how consistent and patient he is the majority of the time even with all of the stressors he has to face. He works long manual labor hours all week long and then immediately jumps right in when he comes home and attends to the girls and helps me when I am dealing with anxiety and/or depression. He does this even without fully understanding what I am going through.

I have a lot of goals in front of me right now and I'm trying to focus and commit to things that will hopefully improve my quality of life as well as my mindset. Since December, I have been waking up at 5 am every day to work out. It was difficult at first, but I'm so glad I do it now. It's a great start to the day for me and it allows me to take care of myself and to be strong for the girls. Since I started working out/eating low carb I've lost about 9 lbs. I'm no longer losing weight but I know that my body composition is shifting and that I am getting healthier regardless of what the scale says.

This weekend we took the girls to the aquarium on Saturday with my grandparents. I love that we got a membership, it's nice to feel like we are doing something that is enriching their lives for a few hours and it's something we can do often. It's awesome seeing Charli come out of her shyness each time we got to the playground area there as well.

Those drinks with work friends didn't happen, but rather than feel down about it I decided to reach out to my sister and hang out with her. It was fun and it was nice to be silly and laugh to the point of tears with someone. I hadn't done that in a while. We went to buffalo wild wings where we had horrendous service to the point of it being funny and then we went back to her apartment and watched "The Bachelor" together. I get a lot of shit for liking some reality TV shows but she is someone after my own heart and is a Reality TV Show junkie. I know that if I logically looked at reality TV I could convince myself it's stupid to watch, but I watch one or two shows and enjoy them and I really don't care if the world doesn't agree with me.

I feel like lately it's been a lot harder to get people to follow through with plans. When you have a more sensitive personality and are also dealing with depression, its easy to feel like it's personal when plans fall through, even when logically I know it's not. It's also easy to feel like I'm a third wheel or nobodies first choice. I guess I just need to take my relationships for what they are and stop trying to force others to be close..