I've decided I'm not great at interacting with people. I'm far too open and probably to a fault and when I care I care too much. I feel like I've been socially crippled for quite a long time and I'm not sure how to fix that.. besides just pretending I don't care. It's funny because I feel like to belong you have to be genuine but if I'm myself then it really just doesn't work and I don't white mesh with 90% of people.
I can't really even connect with my own family.. I just feel like I speak an entirely different language and like I'm far too sensitive for everyone around me.
I guess I just need to keep working at everything.. taking care of myself physically makes a huge difference in my mental and emotional state.. also working on catching all my negative thoughts and refusing to accept them is a habit that I am trying to work on. I don't want to be someone who is just an asshole and cares about no one around them but I can't keep going in my current state where I feel like everyone's scape goat and punching bag either.. there has to be an in between. I feel like I've been struggling with this issue since I was 13.. i definitely wish I was more ignorant of people and their energy.
I struggled today but then I came home and took the girls on a walk and got some fresh air and everything felt okay again. I put some music on and danced with Riley in the kitchen while I made dinner and I at least felt like a good mom.
Pulling 40 lbs of sass around.. does this count as a second work out?
They were so happy and smiley the whole walk.
Making dinner with this cutie and drinking shakeology.
Did an upper body work out this morning at 5 am. Day 2 of a new 21 day program. So far to go to reach my goals but I'll crush them.
No comments:
Post a Comment