Making the decision not to own everyone's stress and to just slow down and focus at work was super nice today. I could feel a bunch of different priorities tugging at me and I want to help everyone, but I know that I am only capable of handling so much work and doing it well so I stayed focused on my priorities and what I was assigned to and it was nice. Tomorrow I have a one on one with my boss and I get to decide if I just keep it generic or if I bring up the current stress levels. I'd like work to be a positive place so I really don't want to be stuck in a negative rut again. Considering I didn't get much sleep last night, today was a way good day. I woke up at 5 am and crushed my work out and then work was fairly smooth and I didn't get my feelings hurt today.
Why the little sleep last night? All of our smoke alarms started to have low batteries in the middle of the night last night. Kyle and I about lost our dang minds trying to block out the noise. The problem is that one of the culprits is at the very top of our vaulted ceiling and can't be reached with a ladder regularly. The only way we could reach it was to have Kyle hold the ladder upright and let me climb to the top with just him holding it. When the problem first started, I told kyle there was no way I was going through with that plan. I'm afraid of heights and I just pictured losing my balance and pretty much dying. After two hours of hearing the damn chirp through white noise and headphones, I told him to grab the ladder.. I actually am quite proud that I was able to accomplish that. After we removed that smoke alarm they all started going off.. ha ha it was quite hysterical considering we were delusional by that point.
We finally decided for good recently that we are done at two kids. It feels good to know we are moving towards the next chapter and moving out of the absolute struggle that is babyhood.. at least for me it is. I am loving as Charli and Riley get older.. they are so much fun at this stage. I don't feel like my postpartum depression/anxiety could handle starting over. There will always be a part of me that wants one more kid, but I don't think that it's logical.
The smoke alarm struggle was real.
Still woke up on little sleep and did my work out.
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